Before we get started, I’m just going to point out the obvious here… you aren’t going to keep your New Year’s Resolution.
I mean maybe you will, but I’d bet that you probably won’t. Statistically, 90 percent of New Year’s resolutions don’t stick. So, for the sake of not wasting your own time I’m going to invite you to try something a little different with me this year.
But first, Why don’t these “resolutions” you keep setting work?
I have found two consistent problems:
- How freaking big they are. One thing that resolutions usually have in common is that they are things that take months to really obtain (i.e. loose 50 pounds, run a marathon, etc). You’ll essentially be losing at something for months until you finally win… and then what? After you get that “Thing” does life go back to normal? Do you start eating donuts again or can you spend your free time watching dog videos instead of running now?
- All of the “new year, new me” stuff.I get kind of sad when I see this because very rarely do I encounter people who need to become new people. All of us were created with purpose, on purpose, for a purpose… you don’t need to change your whole self. We just have to figure out how to use who we are in the best way.
I asked someone the other day what parts of her 2018 she wanted to leave and what parts she wanted to keep and she wrote down about five things that I could summarize up as, “ I want to change everything about me and become a new human with a better body, more personality, and no emotions that make myself or anyone else uncomfortable.”
You see, that is just not possible. It is also not necessary.
So, if you are going to be one of the 40% of Americans that attempt a New Year’s Resolution lets talk about how to use it as a kick start to find small victories in who you already are.
- Choose a way to win everyday. AKA stop picking goals that leave you consistently failing until you win once. For something to actually stick you’ll need positive reinforcement frequently. If you have a long term goal in mind- set up ways to see progress in the meantime.
- Add instead of subtract. Try not to be restrictive: add things in instead of taking them away: Add in 10 minutes of stretching a day instead of taking out mindlessly scrolling Instagram. Our brains respond better to things we can have rather than things we can’t. If I tell you that you aren’t allowed to have chocolate for 30 days you are going to start treating chocolate like magic… A New Year’s resolution should feel like a gift not a punishment. Create a goal that promotes worthiness of rather than not good enough for.
- Start believing in yourself. I see a lot of people quit/not try things simply because they don’t think it’s possible. Self doubt is a normal human experience that we all struggle with but should never be given the power to determine your ability to do something. Doubt is really just success testing you. Which brings me to possibly the most important part…
- Make it a point to grow and not just succeed. People who do the impossible over and over again have a huge appetite for growth- not success. You don’t need to be a “New You”, you don’t need to lose 50 pounds, and you don’t need to run a marathon. You need to be yourself by do what you were created to do- that requires growth. Not to be better but to find the better inside of you. Growing is sometimes painful and change is most of the time uncomfortable but what would be worse is continuing to stay stuck somewhere you don’t belong.
This year I challenge you to grow deeper into who God made you to be. Not to be someone different but to do something different. And if you are struggling to figure out what that might look like, I’d love to talk to you about it. Happy New Year Friends.