You’re Allowed to Affirm Yourself

       The last couple of months have brought a wave of big decisions about some very big parts of my life. Naturally, I’ve been talking about them a lot. I’ve also been second-guessing them—just as much.

        I’m in a stage of life that always felt far off. You know… the “move to the suburbs and have kids” phase. I mean, I’m only 25, right? Well, no—I’m actually 34. I’m still not sure how that happened, but here we are. And instead of spiraling into a crisis about time, I’ve been trying to stay grounded in the present and make decisions based on what’s real—not what used to be or what I thought it would look like by now.

       While working through some of these choices, I sat down with my own therapist. I wanted to make sure that the moves I was making were truly for me—not just a way to create a sense of control in a season that feels pretty uncertain.

       During our session, I found myself getting frustrated. I realized that, no one in my life was giving me  clear answers. They were supportive, present, and kind—but no one was saying, “Kathryn, I think you should do this.”

At one point, my therapist asked, “What is it that you’re wanting?”

Without missing a beat, I said, “I want people to tell me what to do.”

Then I laughed, realizing, “But I hate when people tell me what to do… so that’s not going to work either.”

My therapist smiled and said nothing (You know the look). Eventually I said, “I think what I really want is for someone to tell me I’m making the right decision. I want someone to validate and affirm something I already know I want.”

Another smile. Then she said:

“Sometimes you need to be the one to affirm yourself first—and anything else is just extra.”

That moment landed hard. And it’s stuck with me.

Because yes—support matters. Having safe people to process with matters. But sometimes, the clarity we’re craving is already inside us. And no matter how many people we ask for advice or affirmation, it won’t ever quite feel like enough—not until we learn to slow down and listen to what our own body already knows.

You’re allowed to trust that quiet inner voice.
You’re allowed to let your body’s wisdom lead.
And you’re allowed to affirm yourself—even if no one else says the words.

If tuning into that quiet inner voice feels hard right now, you’re not alone. At Three Cords Therapy, we help people slow down, get curious, and reconnect with what’s already within.

You don’t have to do it alone—we’d be honored to walk with you as you learn to trust yourself again.

All the Best Love,

Kathryn