A Note for Your Bad Days

I was going about my normal business (I guess I was practicing the “acting as if” mindset) when I found myself at the gym hoping endorphins would kick the ick I was feeling out of me. Spoiler: It didn’t.

However, as I was walking out of the gym the owner said, “I hope you have a Tuesday.”

“Huh?” I replied.

“I hope you have a Tuesday! It doesn’t have to be a good day or a bad day, I just hope you have the day you need to have!”

I probably laughed and thanked her as if what she said didn’t just sink into my body like the Titantic.

Driving home that day, I began to think, maybe I need to feel this way for a little bit. Maybe I’m not being too sensitive, or fragile, or negative. Maybe this isn’t my hormones making me feel crazy. Maybe the feelings I am experiencing really are the appropriate responses to what I’m moving through. 

I didn’t feel happier when I left that workout. I think I actually went home and cried. But I cried with the reminder that my feelings aren’t good or bad. They are guides— offering me direction toward what it is that I actually need. 

As I was trying to turn my day around I had no idea that what I really needed was permission to be where I was and feel what I was feeling. I didn’t need a reframe, silver lining, or endorphins. I needed to have the day I needed to have.

Not every day is meant to be a good day. somedays are terrible. Some days your boyfriend breaks up with you, you lose your job, your friend cancels plans (the kind you were actually looking forward to), you get a flat tire on the way to an important event, or you keep stubbing your toe on the end of your bed frame.

We cannot heal what we refuse to acknowledge. When our pursuit is to always feel good and “turn things around” we lose access to the road that leads us to that healing. We lack self compassion and we engulf ourselves in toxic shame.

I have a feeling that there are a lot of people out there unknowingly looking for the same permission that I was all that time ago. This is why I have ended every single episode of You Need Therapy Podcast the same way since its conception. And I think I will end this note to you that way now…

I hope you have the day you need to have.