1. Wishing time away.

How many times have you said “I can’t wait for this to be over”? Living your best comes with being with yourself for all of the things you do- being in all of the things you do. You do not get rollover minutes for all the time you wished would pass faster when you die. When your time is gone. .. it is really 100% gone. Which brings me to…

2. Saying yes to shit you hate.

As an adult- no one can “technically” force you to do anything. When someone asks if your free and you say, “Yea I’d love to have lunch with you Saturday afternoon” but really were looking forward to spending the afternoon alone watching the entire first season of Greys Anatomy. . . you only have yourself to blame. Living your best includes being a little more selfish with your time and reducing your inclination to blame other people for you inability to create personal boundaries. (which you can learn more about here)

3.  Waiting for permission to like yourself.

It seems as though it has become a “bad” thing to look at yourself and actually say, “wow I look good.” Which is very strange- what’s wrong with liking yourself? Really? I want to know… because if liking yourself means you’re stuck up and self absorbed then the people who live the most full that I know have to be stuck up and self absorbed. I don’t think that is true. Someone doesn’t have to say you are really good at playing piano for you to believe you are really good at playing piano. And also, give yourself permission to disagree because someone might think you suck at playing piano- but maybe they suck at judging if someone is good at piano, ya know? Or maybe they are in a bad mood or are angry at their boyfriend. . . We can’t rely on others opinions of ourselves to keep us going.

4. Being mean to yourself.

Stop saying things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. Stop believing you’re the exception and can have different treatment than the rest of the world. That’s it. I think the golden rule is like a little backwards-  To live your best you have to treat yourself how you want others to be treated.

5. Waiting for the time to be right.

It’s never going to be right. If there is one thing I can promise it’s that there will always be another roadblock. Things will never settle down and when they do settle down then it means something is probably about to be stirred up. So take my boyfriend’s advice- if you want to go to Ireland buy a plane ticket and go.

6. Changing your outfit 8 times.

The first outfit you had on was probably fine- actually it was probably more than fine. Living your best means stop second guessing everything you do. Trust your gut and wear the outfit you really wanted to wear.

7. Apologizing for existing

Oh my gosh. Literally- we have all got to stop apologizing for speaking, breathing, reaching for the rolls at the same time as you brother in law, being slow, being fast, etc. apologies should be saved for when we do things that are wrong. Yesterday I apologized for picking up a pen to sign a receipt before the cashier handed me one. . . I mean??? When we do this we send the message to ourselves that we are wrong- we aren’t wrong when we both go left walking towards each other and have an awkward interaction … we just both went left.

8. Counting every calorie you consume.

Yep. Living your best requires us to stop giving food so much power. You can read more about that here.

9. Telling yourself you’ll sleep when you’re dead.

Because no you won’t- you’ll be dead not asleep. And sleeping is great. We physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually need rest. It’s not a badge of honor to pull all nighters- also it’s been proven over and over that when we don’t get rest we actually perform worse. So, sleep when you are alive.

10. Staying comfortable.

One of my favorite things to explain is the difference between safety and comfort. We need safety- we don’t need to be comfortable- but most of us definitely want to be comfortable. It is rare that we get things we want and reach the goals we set staying in our comfort zone. Stop living small and start doing things that scare you.

11. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

This my friends is THE definition of insanity. Brene Brown said it best,

“Once you see a pattern you can’t unsee it. When the same truth keeps repeating itself it’s hard to pretend it’s just a coincidence.”

If your life doesn’t look the way you want it to- maybe you should start doing something different, take responsibility and move forward. Always remember, pretending it is someone else’s fault won’t get you anywhere if it’s actually yours.

12. Saying you can’t because you need to save money.

Because the real reason you don’t want to go is probably, “I don’t want to spend my money on that.” This is about becoming more honest and not believing that you have to lie about what is important to you.

13. Posting quotes on social media about changing the world and loving people and then texting your best friend about how ugly Gretchen’s vest was.

This makes no sense. This will probably also make people not want to be your friend. To live your best you have to stop trying to make people believe you are someone you’re not AND that you are doing better than everyone else. I have to agree with Jennifer Lawrence on this one, “Calling someone fat doesn’t make you skinnier.”

14. Eating kale when you want iceberg.

Wow. This is one of the most important lessons I have learned in 2016. Just because society says you should eat kale- DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO EAT KALE. If you like iceberg lettuce- eat that. If we can’t eat the lettuce we want to eat then what does that mean for the rest of our lives???

Just because gaucho pants aren’t in anymore doesn’t mean you can’t wear your gaucho pants, y’all.

15. Comparing yourself to who you used to be.

Because you are who you are today. Give that person some love, attention, a big hug, and a soft slow breath- he/she deserves it.

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